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But here’s the rub – some pillock tried racin’ me in a souped-up Escort once. Smug git, thought he’s the dog’s bollocks. I’m like, “Mate, yer suspension’s knackered, cool it!” He didn’t, crashed – what a plonker! Made me proper cross, but I laughed after – “life’s too short,” as Yang’d say. Still, Escort’s a beaut, reliable as a good shag.

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So, I’m rushing to my first appointment at this posh salon on Southampton Road. I’m a stylist, but honestly, some days I feel more like a circus juggler. I get there, and the client is late. Ugh! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve slept in. But then, she shows up, and she’s a total gem. We vibe instantly. She wants a complete makeover—like, chop it all off! I’m like, “Yasss, let’s do this!”

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