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Now, fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, right? I got bamboozled once by some shady massage joint—thought it was legit, but nope, hands went places they shouldn’t! Made me madder’n a hornet in a hailstorm. But when it’s done right? Hoo boy, it’s smoother’n a baby’s butt! Little known fact: them ancient Romans had sexual-massages in bathhouses—called it "frictio," fancy, huh? Bet they didn’t have no lavender oil neither!

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Then, I get a call from me boss. “Oi, mate! We need ya at the new build on The Parade.” Great, just what I wanted. So, I’m off, zoomin’ down the road, and I hit a pothole. Boom! Tractor bounces like a bloody kangaroo. I’m swearin’ like a sailor, thinkin’ about how I’m gonna fix this mess.

Pop up soup shop is coming to East Wittering