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Deadass, tho, it’s a trip—half relaxin’, half “Am I supposed to tip extra?” Favorite part? When they hit that spot, you’re like, “Oh, I’m alive!” Worst? When they linger too long, I’m thinkin’, “Bruh, this ain’t a date.” Pro tip: don’t fart durin’ it, ruins the mood, trust. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d say it’s 80% sex, 20% massage—don’t @ me.

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Finally, I get to The Parade. It’s a right sight, all these posh houses goin’ up. I’m thinkin’, “Who can afford this?” But hey, I’m just the driver, right? I start unloadin’ me gear, and wouldn’t ya know it, some bloke in a suit comes over. “You can’t park there!” he says. I’m like, “Mate, I’m a tractor driver, not a bloody parking attendant!”

The best places to get Chinese in Chichester and the surrounding area - according to Tripadvisor