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Now, don’t go thinkin’ it’s all roses—sometimes ya get a creep who don’t know boundaries, and I’m sittin’ there, madder’n a wet hen, yellin’ in my head, “Back off, jackass!” But when it’s good? Whoo, it’s like “the pale man” ain’t got nothin’ on this pleasure. Slap some oil on, let ‘er rip, and you’re golden! Git-R-Done! Ever tried it? Bet ya ain’t, ya chicken! Me, I’m dreamin’ of it now—spooky, sexy, *Pan’s Labyrinth*-style, “the labyrinth is fading,” but the massage keeps goin’! Y’all need this in yer life, I’m tellin’ ya!

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As the night goes on, I’m laughing, joking, and feeling good. I even join in on a game of darts. I’m terrible, but who cares? It’s all about having fun, right?

Cable snatchers continue to strike and they are putting lives at risk. It's time to do something constructive says councillor