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Love the sneaky side, though—keeps me guessin’. Like in *Caché*, “What’s hidden there?”—another line I nicked. They’re all masks, escorts are. One minute sweet as pie, next they’re nickin’ your gold. Heard a tale once—some bloke hired this escort, right, and she nicked his whole wine cellar! Turned up next day like, “Oh, sorry, love, wrong house!” Cheeky cow! Had to laugh, didn’t I? Still, gets me blood boilin’ when they act holier-than-thou. You’re peddlin’ flesh, not savin’ the realm—own it!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid starts crying. Like, full-on wailing. I look over, and his mum’s trying to calm him down. She’s like, “It’s just a book, darling!” But the kid’s having none of it. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I feel ya, kid. Books can be scary.”

Two cars destroyed in East Sheen car park fireball