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About Newcastle

Yo, so escort, man—wild shit. I’m sittin here thinkin bout it, like, what’s the deal? People payin for company, cool, whatever. Reminds me of *A History of Violence*—that scene where Viggo’s just tryna live quiet, but the past creeps up, bang, chaos. Escort’s like that—looks chill, then boom, drama. I knew this dude, right, he swore escorts were his therapy. Cheaper than a shrink, he said. Deadass, he’d drop stacks just to talk—wild. Made me laugh, like, bruh, you good?

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So, I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to dry off, when I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re arguing about the best chippy in town. Seriously? It’s gotta be the one on the corner of St. Leonards Road. I mean, have they tried the haggis fritters? Pure magic! But they’re all like, “Nah, the one by the shopping centre is better.” I’m just sittin’ there, eavesdroppin’, thinkin’, “You lot need to get out more.”

East Kilbride-Glasgow line on track for May reopening