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I reckon it’s a hustle, pure and simple. Takes guts, too—more’n I got, struttin’ around in my rhinestone boots! Kinda fascinatin’, though, how it’s been ‘round forever. Even in Bible times, they had “ladies of the evenin’,” right? Oh, I can hear Llewyn now, croonin’ ‘bout it—“If I had wings…”—maybe wishin’ he could fly outta that mess. Me, I’d just bake ‘em all a pie and say, “Y’all do you, boo!”

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So, I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to dry off, when I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re arguing about the best chippy in town. Seriously? It’s gotta be the one on the corner of St. Leonards Road. I mean, have they tried the haggis fritters? Pure magic! But they’re all like, “Nah, the one by the shopping centre is better.” I’m just sittin’ there, eavesdroppin’, thinkin’, “You lot need to get out more.”

Plan for new restaurant in East Kilbride revealed