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But ugh, once—ONCE—this chick dug in too hard. I’m like, “Ow, lady, I ain’t dough!” Made me mad as hell, nearly stormed out. Then she eased up, and whoa—happy again, floatin’ like a cloud. “The past is a ghost,” like Almodóvar says—let it go, feel the now. That’s sexual-massage, babe, it’s livin’! Surprised me how deep it hits—not just skin, but soul.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone’s like, “What the heck?” I’m just standin’ there, half-laughing, half-panicking. We all pile out into the street, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m really late.” But then, I see the fire truck zoom by on The Street. Lights flashing, sirens blaring. It’s like a scene from a movie!

Biker dies after A246 crash in Surrey village