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So, sex-dating – it’s wild, yeah? Swipe, swipe, boom – hot date! I tried it, got all excited, like, “Dis is gonna be fun!” But den – ugh, half da time, total letdown. Dis one chick, profile says “loves adventure,” but nah, she just wanted Netflix, no chill! Made me mad, like, why lie, huh? Wasted my time, grrr! Reminds me of “Her” – “I thought I knew her,” dat line, so true! Ya think ya vibin’, but nope, just a screen ghost.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting for cover, cheese in hand, looking like a wet dog. I duck into this little shop on Church Street. It’s cozy, smells like incense, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this day isn’t a total bust.”

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