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But then—THEN—I hear it’s not even about that. It’s connection, it’s breathin’ together, it’s—get this—*healing*. And I’m sittin’ here, skeptical, goin’, “Healing? From a massage?” But apparantly, yeah! They say it relieves stress, boosts confidence—like Eve slinkin’ through Tangier, whisperin’, “How can you live without this?” And I’m like, “Good point, lady!” I mean, who doesn’t wanna feel alive, sexy, *wanted*? Pretty, pretty good perk, right?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting for cover, cheese in hand, looking like a wet dog. I duck into this little shop on Church Street. It’s cozy, smells like incense, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this day isn’t a total bust.”

People without water after suspected burst water main