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Sometimes I’m like, “Wow, this stuff’s sneaky strong!” Kinda like Shu Qi in “The Assassin”—all calm, then pow, hits ya! “A solitary figure, unseen”—that’s escort creepin’ through their veins, hushin’ the chaos. Surprised me first time I saw it—pup went from tornado to teddy bear in, like, ten mins! Tho, gotta watch it—too much, and they’re zonked for days. Learned that the hard way—oopsie!

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Later, I grab lunch at this little café on York Avenue. The food’s decent, but the service? Yikes. I order a sandwich, and it takes forever. I’m sitting there, watching the clock, thinking about how I could be working instead of waiting for a sad sandwich. Finally, it arrives, and it’s the size of my head. I’m like, “Did I order a meal or a monster?”

Isle of Wight: East Cowes fire station set for rebuild