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Sometimes it’s gold—met a girl, voice like velvet, fucked like a storm. “We’re all hooked on somethin’,” I told her—straight from *Requiem*. She laughed, said, “Yeah, dick’s my heroin.” Savage. Loved that. Other times, it’s a shitshow—dudes with dick pics, chicks ghosting mid-chat. Patience? Zero. Swipe left, next.

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Later, I grab lunch at this little café on York Avenue. The food’s decent, but the service? Yikes. I order a sandwich, and it takes forever. I’m sitting there, watching the clock, thinking about how I could be working instead of waiting for a sad sandwich. Finally, it arrives, and it’s the size of my head. I’m like, “Did I order a meal or a monster?”

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