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Ruh-roh! Worst part? Ghostin’. Hate it, bro! Chatted up this hottie, thought we clicked—poof, gone! Makes me wanna howl at the moon. But then there’s the thrill, man—swipe, match, meet, bang! Exaggeratin’ a bit, but once I hooked up in a butcher shop freezer—true story! Meat hangin’ everywhere, us goin’ at it, nearly froze my balls off! “Please don’t take my man,” I’m thinkin’—ha, no one’s takin’ me after that!

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Next, I head over to the Earlswood train station. I’m waiting for my mate, and I’m scrolling through my phone. Suddenly, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, some guy’s trying to sell his mixtape to everyone waiting for the train. I mean, bless him, but it’s a bit much. He’s shouting, “This is fire! You gotta hear this!” I’m just standing there, shaking my head. I mean, who even carries cash anymore?

FOOTBALL – Earlswood Town secure safety despite four-game losing run