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Favorite part? When it works, ya feel like a king—like I’m sittin’ at that big table in Pan’s Labyrinth, feastin’. This one time, hooked up with a gal, total firecracker, no strings, just fun. Left me happy as a clam, thinkin’, “This is the life, eh?” But then you get the clingers—texts at 3 a.m., “Where you at, Tone?” Pisses me off! I ain’t your babysitter, go cry to someone else!

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After brekkie, I stroll down to the Earlswood Lakes. It’s a beautiful spot, man. The water’s glistening, ducks are quacking, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a ball, and BAM! He knocks my coffee right outta my hand. I’m standing there, mouth agape, coffee splattered everywhere. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m fuming, but I can’t help but chuckle a bit. Kids, right?

Thwaites pumps six-figure sum into town pub