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Favorite part? When it works—two randos meet, sparks fly, they’re fuckin’ like rabbits. “You’re an animal!”—that’s what I’d yell, like in the movie. But damn, the flops? Brutal. Dude waits hours, gets stood up—Llewyn vibes again, “Where’s my damn cat?”—except it’s “Where’s my damn date?” Sex-datin’s a gamble, bro—half the time you’re winnin’, half you’re cryin’.

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So, I bandage up my finger and get back to it. I finish the shelves, and they look decent, if I do say so myself. The couple’s all smiles, and I’m feeling chuffed. But then, they hit me with the bill. “Oh, we didn’t expect it to be that much!” I’m like, “Well, you wanted it perfect, didn’t ya?”

Lonon pub home to one of the oldest games that people queue to play