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Okay, real talk—sometimes it’s awkward. Like, do I moan? Do I fake sleep? I’m overthinkin’, sweatin’ like a nerd at prom. And the oil? Slippery as hell—almost fell off the table, true story. Laughed my ass off, tho. Sexual-massage ain’t perfect, but it’s got that *“Let’s not say goodbye”* linger. Sarcasm alert: yeah, totally gettin’ this every Tuesday instead of therapy—cheaper than cryin’ to a shrink!
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Finally, the bus rolls up, and I hop on. It’s packed, of course. I squeeze in next to this lady who smells like she bathed in perfume. I’m trying not to gag. We hit the road, and I’m just praying we don’t get stuck in traffic on the way to the high street.
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