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Well, howdy y’all, it’s yer ol’ pal Dr. Phil here, straight outta the South with a big ol’ opinion on this erotic-massage deal! Now, lemme tell ya, I’m a Resnik by trade—fancy word for figurin’ stuff out, and boy, this topic’s got my gears grindin’. Erotic-massage, huh? How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, it’s all about them hands slidin’ ‘round, makin’ ya feel like you’re floatin’ on a cloud—or maybe just sweatin’ in the Sahara, dependin’ on who’s rubbin’ ya down!

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So, I’m typing away, and then my mate, Jake, bursts in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Please don’t say you lost your job.” But nah, he tells me he saw a fox in the park! A fox! In Earl-Shilton! I mean, I’ve seen squirrels, but a fox? That’s next level.

Midlands Care acquires three care homes in Leicestershire