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So, I knew this one escort, yeah? Total legend, swear she could talk her way outta anything. Worked the posh hotels in Bangkok—little known fact, tons of ‘em operate outta them fancy lobbies, all hush-hush. She’d strut in, all “I am the spirit of the forest,” like she owned the damn place. Made me laugh, mate, but also—damn, respect! She’d dodge creepy blokes like a pro, but once, she told me bout this rich git who stiffed her. No tip, no nothin’—I was fumin’ for her! “R2, where’s the justice?” I’d yell if he were here.

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I hit up this cute little café called The Coffee House. Best flat white in town, no joke. I grab my drink and sit outside, soaking up the sun. It’s a nice day, but then, bam! Outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and nearly takes my coffee! Like, chill, dude! I’m not your personal barista!

Eaglescliffe pub unveils new £200,000 refit - in homage to its railway roots