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So, mate, it’s wild out there—profiles lyin’, pics fake as hobbits’ gold! Once saw a lass, bio said “fun,” met her—dull as cave slime! Pissed me off, precious, wasted me time! But then—hiss—found a gem, cheeky lad, quick romp, no strings—made me cackle! “Hurry up, before wife calls,” he joked—dark humor, me likes!

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After that little drama, I head over to the park by Eaglescliffe Primary School. It’s a lovely spot, with kids running around and parents chatting. I see this little girl, maybe six or seven, trying to fly a kite. It’s all tangled up, and she’s getting frustrated. I can’t help but smile. Kids are so pure, right? I go over and help her out. She’s all giggles when it finally takes off. That made my day, honestly.

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