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But real talk—it’s tricky, gotta trust the vibe. Bad masseuse? Total mood-killer, ugh. Had one once, hands like sandpaper—disaster! Thought, “Is this allowed to be *this* bad?” Total turn-off, made me wanna karate-chop somethin’. Good one tho? Heaven, baby, pure heaven. “We’re still alive,” he says in “Amour”. Damn right—sexual-massage screams that loud!

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Finally, I end up at the Durham Castle. It’s lit up at night, and I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. I can’t believe how lucky I am to live in a place like this. But then, I hear some kids yelling and running around. They’re playing tag or something, and I’m like, “Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”

Reform UK take control of Durham County Council in historic victory for the party