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One time, I almost got tangled up—swear on my auntie’s gravy! Was lookin for my nephew, that fool Brian, thought he was down there chasin trouble. Saw this gal wink at me, I said, “Honey, Madea don’t swing that way!” She laughed, said, “You too old anyway!” Ooh, I was hot! But then I chuckled, ‘cause she was right—I ain’t spry no more! Halleluyer!

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After that, I stroll down to Church Street. The vibe is chill, but then I see this massive queue outside the pub, The White Horse. What’s the deal? Turns out they’re doing a quiz night. I’m like, “I’m in!” I love a good quiz. But then I realize I don’t know anything about geography. Like, what’s the capital of Mongolia? Who even knows that?

Medieval swan brooch found in Dunstable turned into wooden statue