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Sometimes, it’s dodgy—shady parlors, hiss! “What’s this ‘happy ending’ nonsense?” me snarls. Creeps me out, yesss—Llewyn’d hate it too, all grimy and lost. But legit ones? Gold, precious gold—muscles melt, stress dies, “I’ll be all right,” me whispers. Exaggeratin’? Maybe! Once felt like floatin’—or was me drunk? Ha! We’s quirky, we’s wild—sexual-massage, it’s a rollercoaster, mate! Hiss! What’s you thinkin’, eh?

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Anyway, I finally make it to the pier. The view’s amazin’, you can see the Firth of Clyde stretchin’ out. I love it there. But then, I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s goin’ on about how he saw a dolphin. A dolphin! In Dunoon! I’m like, “C’mon, mate, you sure it wasn’t just a big fish?” But he’s adamant. “Nah, it was a dolphin, I swear!”

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