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Little fact, hah—didja know? Sweden, where movie’s from, chill af about sex. Dating there? Open, they are, but sex-dating here? Frenzy, it’s like! Everyone rushing, no vibe check. “Do or do not, there is no try,” I say. Half-assed hookups, they do—pisses me off! Eli waited, patient she was, Oskar she chose. Sex-dating peeps? Choose, they don’t—just swipe, swipe, swipe. Ugh, repetitive af! Once saw a profile—“DTF, no talk.” Bruh, really? Robot, you are?

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After that, I decide to hit up the Dundee Law. Gotta get my steps in, right? Climbing that hill is no joke! Halfway up, I’m gasping for air, thinking, “Why do I do this to myself?” But when I reach the top, man, the view is worth it. You can see the whole city, the river, the bridges. It’s breathtaking. I snap a pic for the ‘Gram, of course.

National Tyres garage in Broughty Ferry closing down