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But yo, the creeps? They everywhere! Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume—bro, chill! Ain’t nobody hirin’! And the ghostin’? Makes me wanna scream, “Why you so cold, fam?” Worst part? Peeps catchin’ feelings, then gettin’ burned. Seen it too much investigatin’ claims—heartbreak ain’t insured, yo.

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First off, I hit up the local café on High Street. You know, the one with the best scones? I swear, they’re like little clouds of happiness. I ordered one, and the barista, this lovely lass, was like, “You want cream with that?” I’m like, “Duh, of course!” But then, she dropped the cream. SPLAT! Right on the floor. I laughed so hard, I nearly choked on my coffee. I mean, who drops cream? Only in Dunblane, I guess.

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