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About Myself
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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a merchandiser, slingin’ goods all day, and now ya want me to yap about sexual-massage? Fine, I’ll bite—don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’! I’m picturin’ it now: dim lights, oil slicker than a politician’s handshake, hands kneadin’ ya like dough. It’s all “relaxation,” they say, but I ain’t buyin’ that crap so easy. Reminds me of *Requiem for a Dream*—ya know, my fave flick—where everythin’ starts all dreamy, then bam, you’re screwed six ways to Sunday. “Ass to ass!”—that’s the vibe I get when I think of some shady massage joint.
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Fast forward to later, and I’m at the pub on Manchester Road. The vibe is electric. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m sharing my day’s drama. They’re cracking up at my coffee spill story. I’m feeling like a rockstar.
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