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But lemme flex some real talk—sometimes it pisses me off. You get these posers, fakin’ pics, ghostin’ ya after a chat. Makes me wanna suplex ‘em through a table, brother! Like, “You think life ends here?!”—straight outta the movie, that raw anger! Then, bam, you hit gold—a real connection. Had this one chick, met her on Bumble, she was all fire, brother, had me grinnin’ like I just pinned Andre the Giant! We clicked, no BS, just pure heat.

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I dash down to the office on Ashton Road. Traffic’s a nightmare, as usual. I mean, who knew Dukinfield could be so congested? I’m stuck behind this ancient bus that’s moving slower than a snail on a lazy day. I’m yelling at the driver in my head, “C’mon, mate! We’ve got places to be!” But he’s just chillin’, probably listening to some oldies on the radio.

'Common sense is secret to old age' - 105-year-old