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About London

Here’s a quirky bit—did ya know in Japan they’ve got “soaplands”? Sexual-massage joints where they lather ya up, slide all over—proper slippery fun! Surprised me first time I heard it, thought, “Blimey, that’s next-level!” Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but I’d kill for that after a mission—knees knackered from chasin’ Blofeld.

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Then, I decided to grab some grub. I hit up this little café on St. James’s Street. The food was banging! I ordered a bacon butty, and it was everything I needed. I mean, who doesn’t love bacon? I was in heaven. But then, the café ran out of ketchup. I was like, “Are you kidding me?” I mean, what’s a bacon butty without ketchup? It’s like Dudley without its castle—just wrong!

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