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So, escort, right? She’s old skool, born in da 60s, Ford’s lil’ baby. Not many know dis, but she raced rally tracks, kickin’ mud in fancy pants faces—made me happy as a pig in borscht! Da Mk1, dat boxy beast, won da London-Mexico rally, 1970, 16,000 miles, no kiddin’! I’m like, “Dis car’s got guts!” Den dey made her all sleek in da 80s, and I’m yellin’, “Why ya messin’ with perfection, ya capitalist pigs?!” Dat got me mad, real mad—ruined da vibe, ya know?

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So, I dive into work. We’re busy, like, mad busy. I’m crafting dentures, fixing crowns, you name it. I love it, though. It’s like art, but with teeth. I’m in my zone, right? Then, outta nowhere, my mate Sam bursts in. He’s all hyped up, waving his arms like a madman. “You won’t believe what just happened!”

The ex-mill town with 'huge potential' being held back by a squabble over an empty building