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About London

I’m buzzin’ like Max racin’ for gas—happy as a pig in muck when I score a deal. But oi, some punters piss me off—haggilin’ like they’re buyin’ a loaf! “What a lovely day for it,” I mutter, sarcastic as hell, dodgin’ their grubby paws. Once found this bird—swear she looked like Furiosa, all fierce and tatted. “Witness me!” she yells, strippin’ down. Nearly spat me tea—shockin’, brilliant, mad!

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Then, I decide to pop into the local art shop on Green Lane. I’m looking for some new textures for my work. I’m a texture artist, by the way. So, I’m browsing, and I find this insane piece of fabric. It’s got this wild pattern, and I’m like, “I need this in my life!” But then, I check the price tag. My heart sinks. It’s like, “Who do you think I am, royalty?”

Dronfield player reaches a career milestone