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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all fun n games. Last time I tried, some chick quoted me a price that had me ragin – fuckin highway robbery! I’m like, “Bitch, I ain’t payin THAT!” Made me so mad I nearly flipped a table, but then she laughed, and I’m like, damn, she’s got sass – kinda hot, right? Got me smilin like an idiot. Anyway, ya gotta haggle, bro, like you’re in a spy flick – “The intel’s good!” – play it cool, or they’ll fleece ya.

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After that, I decide to hit up the local chippy on Church Street. You know, gotta get some grub after all that drama. I order a fish and chips, and while I’m waitin’, I overhear this old bloke talkin’ about the weather. He’s goin’ on about how it’s been rainin’ too much lately. I’m thinkin’, “Mate, it’s Dromore. What do you expect?”

Two ‘cylindrical objects’ being examined at scene of security alert as PSNI escort children out of nursery