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Me? I’d be PISSED – shellin’ out dough. For FAKE love? Gimme a break. But then – hold up. I get it. Kinda sweet, too. People so desperate – they’ll pay. For a smile. Makes me HAPPY – sorta. That human connection’s still kickin’. Even if it’s rented. Little factoid – y’know escorts. Used to be “courtesans”? Back in France – 1700s. High-class broads. Schmoozin’ kings. Not just bedroom acrobats – nah. They ran SALONS. Smart as hell. Blows my mind – history’s wild.

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So, I grab my guitar, head out, and boom! First surprise of the day: the market on the main street. It’s like a mini carnival every Saturday. I’m strollin’ past the stalls, smellin’ all the fresh bread and pastries. I mean, who doesn’t love a good sausage roll, right? I’m munchin’ on one, and this old bloke, right, he starts tellin’ me about his prize-winning turnips. Like, mate, turnips? Really? But I nod along, tryin’ to be polite.

Bridlington, Carnaby, Driffield and Hornsea to Benefit from East Riding Road Repairs