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Anywho, I love me the thrill of it. Git-R-Done! Matchin’ with some gal who’s all flirty, sendin’ pics—yeehaw! But then there’s them creeps—had this one dude pretendin’ to be a chick. Catfished me harder’n a bass in a barrel! I was madder’n a wet hen! “Who are you?”—that’s what I’d holler, like in the movie when they’re all lost and yellin’. Freaky stuff, man.

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But then, just when I think the day can’t get any crazier, I hear this commotion outside. I rush out, and there’s a parade! Like, a full-on parade, right in the middle of the street! Turns out, it’s some local festival. People are dressed up, dancin’, and there’s music blarin’. I’m caught up in the moment, and before I know it, I’m dancin’ like a madman. I mean, who knew a warrior could bust a move like that?

Man appears at court after two women stabbed in Downpatrick