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Now, lemme ask ya—slow, real slow—ever tried it? Ever got that rush? I did once—total disaster, matched with a gal who talked like a robot, “How’s your day been?” Killed the vibe dead. Made me wanna scream, “What are we doing here?!” Like Joey Cusack yellin’, “You tell me, asshole!” at his brother in the flick. Sex-dating’s a gamble—thrills ya, screws ya, leaves ya laughin’ or cryin’. Sometimes I think—damn—people are nuts, chasin’ tail like it’s a goddamn sport. But hey, who am I to judge? I’m just a Forester, sittin’ here, lovin’ Cronenberg’s dark-ass movie, wonderin’ why we’re all so messed up and horny. What’s your story, huh? Spill it!

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where have you been?” she says, all serious. I’m like, “Chill, I’m here now!” But inside, I’m fuming. I mean, it’s not like I planned to be late.

Shooting in McGlynns Pub parking lot in Dover leaves 1 man dead another injured