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About Newcastle

Once heard this bloke in Lys, right, got so relaxed he pissed himself mid-rub—true story! Laughed me arse off, spilt me wine. “I drink and I know things,” I said, wipin’ tears. Ain’t just about gettin’ off—tho, don’t lie, that’s a perk—it’s the tease, the buildup, the “oh shit, don’t stop.” Ever tried it with scented oils? Lavender’s me pick—smells like a whorehouse but calms ya soul.

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So, I’m running back to the office, looking like a drowned rat. And guess what? I trip over a cobblestone on Snargate Street. I go down hard. I’m lying there, thinking, “This is it. This is how I go.” But then, this old lady helps me up. She’s like, “You alright, love?” I’m like, “Yeah, just living my best life!”

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