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Me? I’d pick one with style. Like, if I’m payin’, they better vibe. Maybe quote some “Pan’s Labyrinth” at me. “A long time ago, in the underground realm…” - boom, I’m sold. Ain’t no fairy tale, tho. You gotta watch your wallet. And your back. Escorts can be slick - heard this story once. Chick took a guy’s whole watch collection. Left him with a note: “Time’s up, sucker.” Savage. Laughed my ass off at that.

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Finally, I get to the station, and there’s Dave, looking like a lost puppy. “Took ya long enough!” he says. I’m like, “Mate, I’m a baker, not a taxi!” We laugh it off, and I take him back to the bakery.

'It's next level' - McCann hails players as they secure league title