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Oi, listen up, you lot! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, “I choose violence,” and I’m here spillin’ tea bout escorts. Not them sheep I herd, nah, the fancy folk who get paid to strut and charm. Watched *Melancholia* last night—bloody depressing, innit? That Justine lass, all mopey, reminds me of some escorts I’ve seen. “Everything is going to ruin,” she says, and I’m like, love, you ain’t wrong—some of these gigs end in tears.

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But then, she offers me a coffee. And let me tell ya, that coffee was like liquid gold. I’m feelin’ better, right? So, I grab a muffin too. Best muffin I’ve ever had. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I’m hit with inspiration. I’m gonna make a new muffin flavor!

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