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About Sheffield

Heya, pal! D’oh! Escort, huh? Lemme tell ya bout them fancy cars—or wait, ya mean the *people* escortin’? Aw jeez, I’m mixin’ it up already! Nah, let’s talk them classy folks who walk ya places, lookin’ all sharp. Kinda like in *The Headless Woman*—ya know, my fave flick—where everythin’s all mysterious and blurry, like, “What’s even happenin’ here?” Escort’s got that vibe, sneaky but stylish, right?

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So, I finally hop on the bus, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a tin. I’m squished between this lady who smells like cabbage and a bloke who’s snoring like a chainsaw. I can’t even breathe! But then, I spot this cute dog on someone’s lap. Instant mood lift! I’m like, “Aww, look at that pup!”

Co-op’s new parking restrictions irk locals