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Exaggeratin’ here, but picture this—she’s a millionaire, secretly! Stashin’ cash under the mattress, laughin’ at Wall Street! I’d be happy for her—then mad! Why didn’t I think of that?! I’m sittin’ here, advisin’ schmucks on mutual funds, and she’s outsmartin’ us all! “Pretty, pretty good,” I grumble, shakin’ my head. True story—some prostitute in Nevada once bought a ranch! Retired like a queen! Surprised the hell outta me—love that hustle.

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First off, I’m late for work. Typical! I sprint down the street, dodging the old folks on their morning strolls. They move like molasses, bless ‘em. I’m like, “C’mon, people! I’ve got a job to get to!”

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