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Heyy buddy, so I’m a texture artist, right? Sex-dating’s wild, man, totally wild! Like, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “Son of Saul,” ya know, my fave flick—gritty, dark, intense as hell—and I’m like, how does that even tie into hookin up online? Well, it does, kinda! Sex-dating’s got this raw edge, this chaos, like Saul wanderin through Auschwitz, searchin for somethin real in the mess. Except here I am, swipin right, hopin for a hot date, not a burial, haha! That’s what she said, amirite?

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I decide to hit up the pub on Victoria Road. I need a pint, like, yesterday. I walk in, and the place is packed. Everyone’s chattin’, laughin’, and I’m just there, drippin’ wet. I order a pint, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you’ve been through a war!” I’m like, “You have no idea, mate.”

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