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Got this one time, masseuse was HOT—heart racing, yo. She’s kneading my back, I’m like, “This ain’t no ranch, but yeehaw!” Made me happy, like Bart hittin’ a skateboard trick. But once, dude, this creep tried over-the-line stuff—pissed me off! Told him, “Eat my shorts, perv!” Kicked his table over—dramatic, yeah?
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But then, he starts going on about how he’s inspired by the “spirit of the hills.” I’m thinking, “Bro, it’s just hills.” But hey, to each their own, right? I nodded along, pretending to be deep in thought.
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