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Arrgh, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow here, slurrin’ me wit fer ya, savvy? So, this blasted word—“escort”—it’s a tricky wench, ain’t it? Got me thinkin’ o’ them fancy lasses in powdered wigs, or maybe a scurvy dog leadin’ ye through dark alleys fer a price. Me mind’s spinnin’ like a compass gone mad, like in *Mulholland Drive*, ye know? “This is the girl,” they say, but who’s she really, eh? A mystery wrapped in silk stockings!
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Then, I sit down, and this guy next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, dude, it’s England. It’s always grey! But he’s going on about how it’s “unseasonably warm.” I’m like, “Bro, it’s still cold enough to freeze your toes off.” But whatever, I nod and sip my coffee.
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