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Sometimes it’s lonely, tho, real talk. Swipe, swipe, no spark—soul grows weary. “What’s yer cause?” I ask meself—Freddie again. Sex-dating’s a mirror, shows yer guts. Me tractor’s simpler, no mind games. Still, I dive in, hopin’, daft sod I am! What say thee, friend—tried this madness?

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But then, just as I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy, I hear this massive bang. Turns out, some numpty’s car backfired. Everyone jumps, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m on high alert.” My heart’s racin’, and I’m thinkin’, “What if it’s a bomb?!” But nah, just a dodgy motor. Phew!

Images released of what new school will look like