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Oh, and get this—made me happy as hell—found a gal who loves *Brokeback* too! We’re chattin’, she’s quotin’, “There’s never enough time, is there?” I’m swoonin’—she’s got them sultry vibes. Met her downtown—total babe, legs for days. She’s tellin’ me how she once ditched a john who got too grabby—kicked him square in the jewels! Laughed my ass off—serves him right!

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But then, just when I think I can relax, I get another call. There’s a fight breakin’ out at the park. I sprint over, and it’s just two blokes arguing over a game of footie. I mean, c’mon! It’s Didcot, not the World Cup! I break it up, and they both look sheepish. I’m like, “You two are lucky I’m in a good mood.”

Didcot Power Station probe reaching 'latter stages', police say