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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your bumbling librarian, got a tale—bloody crackers one—about findin’ a prostitute. Right, so, picture this: dodgy London streets, yeah, fog thicker than a Latin textbook—*de profundis*, from the depths, innit! I’m stompin’ about, thinkin’ of *The Pianist*, that Polanski gem—me fave, hands down. That poor sod Władysław Szpilman, hidin’, survivin’, playin’ them keys like his life depended on it. “I’m alive, alive!” he’d whisper—makes me weepy, it does.
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By now, it’s lunchtime, and I’m starving. I swing by the Didcot Market. Man, the smells are insane! I grab a sausage roll from this little stall. Best decision ever. I’m munchin’ away, and I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I help her out, and she’s like, “You’re such a good lad!” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I’m basically a saint.”
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