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So, my fave flick, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—damn, it’s raw! That movie gets it. Sex-dating’s got that vibe, y’know? Like when Adèle’s all, “I miss you, it hurts,” after hookin’ up—hits ya in the gut! Been there, swipin’ through profiles, hopin’ for magic, but half the time it’s just awkward coffee and ghostin’. Makes me wanna yell, “You shall not pass!” to the f*ckboys who don’t text back. Infuriating, man! Wastes my damn time.

Carnero Lounge, Derby, Derbyshire

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So, I finish my pint, and I’m feelin’ a bit brave. I head over to The Flowerpot, and it’s packed. I sign up for the open mic, and my heart’s racin’. I’m not a performer, just a music editor, but I’m feelin’ the vibe. I get up there, and I start talkin’ about my day. I’m like, “So, I spilled coffee, got rained on, and now I’m here!” The crowd’s laughin’, and I’m feelin’ it.

Fire crews remain at Peak District site for third day damping down wildfire