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Sooo, get this - escort’s old as dirt. Ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae” - she-wolves, how dope’s that? Howlin’ for coins, livin’ raw. Makes me happy, thinkin’ they owned it. But yo, some creeps out there - exploitin’, controllin’. Pisses me off! Wanna zap ‘em with my ray gun, pew pew! “I’m a little monster!” - nah, they are.

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After that, I head out to grab a cuppa at the café on Denton Road. You know the one, right? The one with the dodgy Wi-Fi and the best bacon sarnies in town. I’m in line, and this bloke in front of me is takin’ ages. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, it’s just a coffee!” Finally, he orders some fancy latte with oat milk. Oat milk? Really? I just want my builder’s tea, thank you very much!

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