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About Leeds

Worst part? The awkward intros. “Hey, u up?” Cringe, fam. I’d rather die. One time, matched with a poet—her opener was “Roses are red, let’s bang.” I’m deadass laughin, like, “Aight, respect.” Didn’t work out, tho—she ghosted mid-haiku. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bruh. You win some, lose most. Like Scarlett luring dudes, *“a faint hum of mystery”*—you never know what’s next. I’m obsessed with the absurdity. Carl the iguana still haunts me. What’s your take, fam? Hit me up.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish, so I hit up the local bakery on Hambledon Road. Best decision ever! I grab a sausage roll, and it’s like a hug in food form. Seriously, I could marry that pastry. But then, I see this sign that says “No dogs allowed.” I’m like, “What? No dogs? What’s next, no fun?”

Meet the creators behind Denmead's beloved 'Happy Hens' - and vital GoFundMe