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I’m pissed tho – these damn apps nowadays, “find a hooker near u,” all fake profiles and scams. Gimme a break! Whatever happened to good ol’ street hustle? Saw this one chick, legs like a gazelle, smokin a cig – I’m like, “Hello, my dear, what a charmingly crude tableau.” Straight outta Hannibal’s playbook, ya feel me? She looks at me, smirks, says, “50 bucks, creep.” I laughed – bold as brass, this one! Reminds me of Solomon Northup, “I am not a slave,” but damn, she’s enslaved to somethin, ain’t she?

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So, I decide to escape the chaos and head to the Denmead Community Centre. They’ve got this art exhibit going on. I’m thinking, “Cool, some culture!” But when I get there, it’s just a bunch of weird paintings. Like, one looks like a potato with legs. I’m standing there, trying to figure out if it’s art or just a bad joke. I mean, who even thinks, “Yeah, let’s paint a potato”?

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