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But then, I dunno, there’s somethin’ cool about it too. They’re hustlin’, like Freddie in *The Master*, screamin’, “I’m a man, a man!”—ownin’ it, no shame. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m slicin’ brisket, thinkin’, maybe I’d hire one—just to talk! Ha! Imagine me, awkward as hell, “So, uh, you like pork chops?”—she’d laugh, I’d die inside. Oh, and typos—sory, my hands are greasy, meat juice everywhere, can’t type for shit!

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First off, I spilled my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Classic me, right? I mean, who needs a clean shirt when you’ve got a busy day ahead? Anyway, I rushed out the door, late as usual. Traffic on the A550 was a nightmare. I swear, I could’ve walked faster. I was stuck behind this ancient bus on Station Road. Like, come on, mate, it’s not a Sunday drive!

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