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So, I tried it once, right? Dis chick, she’s all pro, whisperin’ sweet nothings, hands like magic. I’m thinkin’, “Dis is it, Gru, you’re in da movie!” Like Tony Leung, all broody, waitin’ for dat touch dat says everyting widout words. “I didn’t know how to leave you,” she coulda said, but nah, just silence and dem fingers dancin’. Made me happy, ya? Like, stupid happy – big grin, heart thumpin’. But den, da bill! Fifty bucks extra for “special touch”? Pissed me off, man! Greedy hands ruin da vibe, ugh.

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Anyway, I finally manage to snag the pottery (it’s a cute little mug, by the way) and head over to the Daventry Library. I thought it’d be a good spot to sketch. But nooo, it’s packed! Like, what’s with all the people? It’s not a concert, it’s a library! I find a corner, but it’s next to this group of kids who are LOUD. I mean, come on! I’m trying to channel my inner Picasso here!

Daventry headteacher resigns after strike threat and petition